Kiran Auger

When I held that pipe for the first time it changed everything for me

For 23-year-old Kiran Auger of Loon River First Nation, the voices of his people mean the world to him. But it hasn’t always been easy hearing or sharing those voices.

“My reserve is dominantly Christian,” he says, explaining that the shift from traditional Indigenous teachings took place long before his birth. “I’m aware that in the 60s and 70s we had a lot of ceremonies and tea dances because there was a lot of lodge holders and medicine people in my family, but that was before things changed on the reserve and with my family.”

From a very young boy to about 15 years of age, Auger toed the new family line. He dutifully attended church on Sundays, prayed, played sports—doing what many young people do from all walks of life. But even then, he wanted to know more about Cree culture.

“I wasn’t taught any of my culture. I once asked my mother for a hand drum. I wanted it because it seemed like a really significant thing in our culture. She got really mad at me.”

Throughout this and other personal inner struggles, the only person in Auger’s family who would show a supportive side was his mooshum (grandfather), who did so despite no longer following Cree spirituality himself.

“I went and talked to my mooshum about it. He called me into his room and asked me if this was true: ‘you asked your mom for a drum?’ I said ‘yes, I did.’ I didn’t see anything wrong with having a drum.”

He sat me down and told me two stories: one good and one bad. He wanted me to understand there is good and bad in everything. Then he let me decide if I wanted to keep going with learning about my culture. I thought about it for a long time. Right up to the point I came to NorQuest for the first time and walked in on the Elder having a small pipe ceremony in the Indigenous Students Room. That’s when I came to a final decision that I was going to find out more about my people and who I am.”

Life of secrecy

In the time between asking his mother for that hand drum and walking into that pipe ceremony, Auger would first venture alone into the bush around his reserve to sing far away from judging eyes. Eventually he found other youngsters in the community who shared his curiosity and the need to know more.

“I would hang out with my friends and talk about the Cree culture that I heard about and ask them if they ever heard stories. And they did hear stories. Together, we would go out into the bush and have fires and talk about these things because we knew if we talked about them in front of our families we would be called out for it. I just really wanted to know more about my culture. Why we are where we are, and why we are who we are? I wanted to know why we, Cree people, are worshiping something that is not ours and why do we demonize our own beliefs?”

From there he took matters into his own hands.

Attending NorQuest College

After living away from home and attending school in Grande Prairie for a short while, Auger then moved to Edmonton in 2015 to take upgrading classes at NorQuest College. With many questions and feeling like he didn’t belong anywhere in society because of a lack of his own inner awareness, he made that fateful walk into the college’s Indigenous Students Room.

“When I held that pipe for the first time it changed everything for me. My hands were just shaking and I felt like my whole body was vibrating. The inadequacies I felt from not knowing my culture all went away. I got something from that ceremony from the spirits that I still keep. And from that, I knew this is what I was supposed to do.”

Later that same night he received something else. It came in a dream.

“It was about a pipe. And the Elder from NorQuest was holding it. Later on I got some teachings about that dream and what I was told is that one day I will be a pipe carrier. That’s pretty big for me because I always saw myself as somebody who has no purpose, whose only destiny was to go to church, play hockey, go work in the oilfield, and hunt. That was it.

I know my purpose now is to help my people heal. To build lodges so our people can come in and leave their prayers and listen to them and sing for them. That is my duty as an Oskapios (a young man who helps in ceremony).”